Running On Air

By Cernig

The car that runs on water may be a DFH cliche - but how about one that runs on air?

An engineer has promised that within a year he will start selling a car that runs on compressed air, producing no emissions at all in town.

The OneCAT will be a five-seater with a glass fibre body, weighing just 350kg and could cost just over £2,500.

It will be driven by compressed air stored in carbon-fibre tanks built into the chassis.

The tanks can be filled with air from a compressor in just three minutes - much quicker than a battery car.

Alternatively, it can be plugged into the mains for four hours and an on-board compressor will do the job.

For long journeys the compressed air driving the pistons can be boosted by a fuel burner which heats the air so it expands and increases the pressure on the pistons. The burner will use all kinds of liquid fuel.

The designers say on long journeys the car will do the equivalent of 120mpg. In town, running on air, it will be cheaper than that.

Do you think all the Bush conservatives who said that advances in technology would remove the need for carbon caps will be first in line for this vehicle? Of course not - they'll still want their fully-loaded gas-guzzling urban tractors.

An old boss of mine, a conservative of the most radical kind, once asked me what I thought of the massive Hummer he was thinking of buying. I told him I wasn't insecure about my dick size.