Saturday, January 05, 2008

Lines of attack

by shamanic

Following up on John Cole and Glenn Greenwald, I'm going to be magnanimous to our Republican friends and throw out seven sample lines of attack they can use against Obama if he wins the nomination.

1. Barack Obama has black babies. I know this is a sticky point for you guys.

2. Barack Obama is married to a black woman. Again, this should scandalize in various parts of the middle of nowhere where the GOP continues to be strong.

3. Barack Obama is himself black. Whoa. How did the Iowans not catch that?

4. Barack Obama, like myself and tens of millions of other Americans, used illegal drugs in college. If you had not lost the congress in 2006, you could perhaps change the drug laws to make decades-later admissions the same as possession. Man, too bad you lost in 2006.

5. Barack Obama's middle name is Hussein. Really, what more is there to say?

6. Barack Obama has repeatedly stated that he is a Christian. Obviously, that makes him a Muslim. Also, if Mike Huckabee wins on the GOP side, this line can do double duty for establishment Republicans.

7. Barack Obama is from Chicago. Or Hawaii. Or Indonesia. Or some madrassa somewhere. But he's not from Massachusetts like that awesome Mitt Romney. Who is a Mormon. Which starts with the same letter as Muslim.

There you go Republicans. It's a good start. And it'll really get you traction in the isolated hills and hollers where people still give a shit who you hate today.

If I could make a suggestion: learn a new politics that isn't centered around the destruction of whatever metaphorical bug metaphorically crawled up your ass that morning.

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