Shorter Candidates

By Cernig

Atrios, only simplifying a little, has the shorter version of the Dem frontrunners' campaigns:

Obama: The system sucks, but I'm so awesome that it'll melt away before me.

Edwards: The system sucks, and we're gonna have to fight like hell to destroy it.

Clinton: The system sucks, and I know how to work within it more than anyone.

So here's the rest of the list as I see it:

Chris Dodd: The system sucks and I'm actually doing something about it.

Kucinick/Gavel: Hey, we're over here on the Left, but the media sucks.

And over at the GOP camp:

Rudy G: Noun, verb, 9/11 - where's my balcony?

Romney: What would you like me to believe?

Huckabee: Why's that Devil-worshipper talking about faith?

Fred: I suck.

Ron Paul: Thar's gold in them thar crazies!

McCain: At least I'm not crazy.

Next up - the campaign theme songs each should have. Suggestions in comments please. So far, I've got Rudy with "Deutchland, Uber Alles" and Mitt with "I'm a Barbie Girl"...