Instahoglets 1st April 06

Let's see if we can find some "news less travelled" to keep our minds ticking this April Fool's Day. (As far as I know not one of these stories is a hoax - if one is, I've been taken in too.)

Check out a stunning report via the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (!),Afghanistan: The Night Fairies. The Taliban wander at will spreading terror in the Afghan countryside where the farmers are so afraid to speak their name so they refer to them as "the night fairies". The occupation forces seem blind to the psychological war of handbills and threats. Pakistan, a US ally, is seen as the secure home of the Taliban and Al Qaida nowadays. Afghans conclude that the US must be in league with the Taliban. "They reason that America, with its power and riches, could bring an end to the "insurgency" in a month, if it so chose. They figure that America remains a close and munificent ally of Pakistan, the country that is sponsoring the "insurgency," and so the continuing violence must be a deliberate element of U.S. policy. The point is not whether there is any factual basis for this notion, it's that everyone here believes it." The neocon motto should be "Losing By Winning". (Hat tip - Kat)

Halliburton's performance under its second Iraqi oil contract is actually worse than its first. Government auditors and investigators have made repeated criticisms of intentional overcharging ($26 million in one instance alone), exhorbitant and unsupported costs ($45 million in unreasonable costs), schedule delays that meanyt 50% of all work was late and an utterly uncooperative attitude towards oversight officials. Now we see where Bush got his concept of "run government like a business" from. If he'd said "we'll run government like Halliburton" then we would've all known ahead of time. (Hat tip - Kirk)

The U.S. Army has done a huge about-face on body armor. Via Defense Tech, I hear that "just six months after the Pentagon agreed to reimburse soldiers who bought their own protective gear, the Army has banned the use of any body armor that is not issued by the military." That includes the popular Dragon Skin armor made by Pinnacle. I wonder what Cheney is up to? If Pinnacle gets bought out by one of Cheney's favourite firms after suffering a drastic drop in sales, then we will know, won't we?

Almost without notice, the guy who began the Dubai Ports sound and fury with his nomination as top dog of U.S. maritime affairs has withdrawn his nomination so as not to further embarass Bush. Another trophy for the bloggy Headhunters.

You're going to LOVE this one. How do you think all those Rightwing pundits who shout long and hard about the Kelo decision and property rights are going to feel when they realise their favourite administration thinks they are terrorists?
(Along with environmentalists and animal's rights activists, of course...)

Britain's Trdae and Industry Minister thinks the Republicans are hypocrites for talking big on free trade while ensuring that the Homeland has ever more restictive barriers to foreign firms hoping to enter U.S. markets. He shouldn't be surprised. 'Tis always thus with empires.

You won't find this on the big media but it is here for the record - the full text of the Security Council's statement on Iran.

As the Senate tells everyone that "overall the Senate [Ethics] Committee has been doing what they were supposed to do," the Center For Public Integrity spotlights exactly what "doing what they were supposed to do" entails:

- Nearly 14,000 lobbying documents that should have been filed periodically with the Senate Office of Public Records are missing;
- Nearly 300 individuals and entities lobbied without registering;
- 49 of the top 50 lobbying firms failed to file required forms;
- Almost one in five companies have missing lobbying forms; and,
- Almost 20 percent of all forms are filed late.

So now, when you hear that the Democrat Vice Chair of the Ethics Committee, says "the truth is, the Senate Ethics Committee operates effectively and in a bipartisan fashion," you will know exactly how he means that!

Now here's the perfect neocon fantasy! Fancy running your own private regime-change operation? Blackwater USA says it will supply "private armies for low-intensity conflicts" in strengths up to brigade-size. Seems they've already talked to the Bush administration and NATO about it and both were "sure, fine...go ahead".

(Blackwater, you may recall, are famous for their heavy presence in Katrina-ravaged New Orleans and Iraq.)

And by a step to the Right (and a pelvic thrust) we come lastly to Raw Story's report that Bush administration officials can't find anyone dumb enough to take the job of FEMA Director - and the big sign saying "Kick Me" that goes along with it, as hurricane season is only two months away.