Devil's Dictionary - The Bush Edition

I've always liked Tom Engelhardt's website Tom Dispatch. It is thought-provoking, educated, often shockingly realistic and sometimes even funny. Today it is the turn of the latter, as the various contributors help compile a Devil's Dictionary update for the Bush years.

Here are some examples:

Mandate: 1. The opinion expressed by about a quarter of the eligible voters. 2. The opinion reflected in an electoral-vote margin smaller than in any 20th century election other than 1916 and 2000. 3. The opinion expressed by the smallest popular vote margin obtained by a sitting president since 1916.

Abuse n: Modern word for what was once referred to as torture. An interim term, soon to be replaced by "tough love" (which, in turn, is expected to be replaced by "freedom's caress").

Support the Troops: A mandatory mantra which need no longer be mouthed since full "support" can be offered with a simple $1 investment in a magnetic yellow ribbon to affix to the back of your SUV.

Republican Party: A party that assails the foundations of the Republic, attacking the balance and separation of powers (See, Assertions of Untrammeled Presidential Authority -- to violate domestic and international laws forbidding torture); habeas corpus (See, Assertion of Right to Lock Away "Enemy Combatants" Forever -- without due process of law); and federalism (See, Legislative and Executive Rampage -- to overturn state court decisions in the Terry Schiavo case).

Senate n: Exclusive club, entry fee $10 to $30 million.

Patriotism n: How Americans love their country. A trait so positive you can't have too much of it, and if you do, then you are a super-patriot which couldn't be better. (Foreigners cannot be patriotic. See, Nationalism).

Nationalism n: How foreigners love their country (when they do). A very dangerous phenomenon that can lead to extremes of passion, blindness, and xenophobia. (See, Terrorism).

Homeland n: A term successfully used by the Germans and the Soviets in World War II, less successfully (and in the plural) by Apartheid-era South Africa. It means neither home, nor land, has replaced both country and nation in American public speech, and is seldom wielded without the companion word "security." It is the place to which imperial forces return for R&R.

Homeland Security Department: The new Defense Department, known for declaring bridges yellow and the Statue of Liberty orange.

Pentagon n: Formerly, the Defense Department, but since we now have a new defense department (see, Homeland Security Department), soon be renamed the Global Forward Deployment Department or GFDD (Ge-Fudd). Its forward-deployed headquarters will be established in a two-sided building, the Duogon, now being constructed in Bahrain out of sand imported from the beaches of Texas by Halliburton subsidiary KBR. From there, it plans to rule the known world.

Checks and Balances. The system whereby the campaign checks of the few balance the interests of the many.

Wonderful stuff! Read it all.