Friday, September 21, 2007

A New Foreign Threat

The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat has divined through cynical investigation (aided by several fine singe malts)and thoughtless prognostication a new foreign threat far greater than a foreign leader's desire to visit some of New York City's landmarks --- he speaks of the Great Canadian Threat:

Despite all the jokes, however, this is a serious problem for the North American economy. Both the U.S. and Canada have a vested interest in keeping Canadian products affordable to the U.S. and to keep the U.S. purchasing power in Canada high. People and companies who would otherwise buy Canadian products are now more likely to buy American. Both economies suffer, devolving into increased tensions and hostilities throughout the continent.

The end game is inevitable: a Canadian invasion of the U.S.

Now, it might now happen all at once. In the 1980s it was the Japanese who were buying up the U.S., then it was the Chinese. Now it's Canada's turn... and the sneaky bastards look exactly like us so we'll never suspect it.

Before you know it, hordes of Mounties with fist fulls of Loonies will be gallivanting over the border, buying up everything in site and we will be too weak to stop them because of our inferior medical system and our fat asses.

Then, we will be inundated with hockey and unnecessary "u's" stuck in our favourite words. When the "Canschluss" is finally complete, we will all be sent to internment camps and subjected to French, curling, and Molson Lager.

Now what is wrong with curling, French or Molson, I happen to do a lot of the first two when I have had a lot of the last.....

But beware of the Canadian threat --- first their geese pooped on you and your car, and now their dollar is actually worth a dollar... what next?

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