Alternate Realities

By Cernig If certain theories of physics are correct, then in an alternate dimension Dan Quayle is president - and they're doing better than we are. Today, while speaking at an Ohio high school, Dubya revealed either a depth of ignorance of reality or a supreme patronising condescension. Take your pick. ``One of the lessons of these tragedies is to make sure that when people see somebody or know somebody who is exhibiting abnormal behavior, you do something about it, to suggest that somebody take a look,'' the president said during an appearance at a high school here. ...``If you are a parent and your child is, you know, doing strange things on the Internet, pay attention to it and not be afraid to ask for help and not be afraid to say `I am concerned about what I am seeing,'' Bush said. ``I think it's very important for us not to comment until it's all said and done, but that other cases there have been warning signals - that if an adult for example had taken the signals seriously, perhaps tragedy could have been avoided.'' Of course, people did speak out - adults all - and the authorities failed to take notice or action. And don't you just love the connection between Cho and the Internet there? Is the guy a technophobe? If you're still struggling to decide between "reality-challenged" and "condescending git", please consider that Bush thinks Gonzales did well at Senate hearings today and that Gonzales is helping to "keep our citizens safe from terrorists, our children safe from predators, our government safe from corruption, and our streets free from gang violence." Everyone else thinks that Gonzales is flame-grilled Texas toast - and as for the other stuff, well... But then again, in yet another alternate universe, they have had John McCain as president since 2000 - and there, things are a hell of a lot worse. Update More of Bush's meanderings in Ohio here, on subjects as diverse as marriage, chicken-plucking and the Oval Office rug.