Instanter Minuoporcae (The 'When In Rome' Edition)

These messages have not been approved by the Imperial Censor's Office.

In this fifth year of the Emperor Georgius, there comes news by fleet-footed messengers of events in the Empire, its Provinces and its Satrapies. Here too, your scribe has collected diverse rumors from the lands of the blue-painted barbarian hordes. The motto of Rome has been changed from Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodiens to Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's - and Caesar wants the lot!

Well known Soothsayer Charles Krauthammer has said a sooth for Persia - that the President of Iran is a certifiable nutcase arming for the Apocalypse. Forsooth, he should be careful that his sooth isn't mistaken for an allegory of Georgius Caesar, for then he would be in for a tap from the Praetorian Guard. However, the erstwhile gasbag, who often spoke sooth on the arming for the Apocalypse of Saddam Insane (and we all know how much sooth was there), may well just be suffering from excessive gas.

Pro-Consul Condi has been put in charge of exploiting the wealth of the Satrapy of Iraq. Caesar's Censors insist we call this "reconstruction" although the only construction that seems to be going on is that of Legion Forts to keep the barbarians in order. Perhaps there will be a Condaleeza's Wall seperating Kurdistan from the Sunni blue-painted barbarians to look forward to. Or maybe it will be named the Bolton Wall - for we hear there are Palace intrigues between Rice and Consul Bolton, our primary "Ambassador" with all blue-painted barbarians. Which one will drink the poisoned cup?

OK, fuggedaboutit. It was a lame satrical point anyway. You get the idea - Rome wasn't a democracy except in name for a long time and found the changeover to Imperial dictatorship quite easy, all things considered. Same for the USA. I had more of the same, the best of which was that we should change "Ave Caesar" to "Cave Caesaris". Pretty lame. I woke up in a weird mood this morning and having left off writing for a few hours I feel better now.

There's been further analysis of Bush's wire-tapping calumnies all over the place today. DefenseTech has one of the best - it's clearly illegal and the pretexts being trotted out for doing it are flimsy at best. An editorial from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette puts plainly what much of the MSM will only hint at - "The president took a step toward a police state." Oh, and by the way, rightwingers? I think you will find its impossible to substantiate a charge of treason for leaking details an illegal action, so shuddup!

German politicians expressed surprise on Thursday at reported U.S. comments that Washington had apologized and paid money to a German citizen it abducted to Afghanistan and held for months as a terrorist suspect. Your thoughts are probably the same as mine - Condi says the US doesn't torture, so here's an apology for torturing you and a bag of money.

You may be shocked to know (I wasn't) that across the pond in the 51st State, they are having similiar problems with a lying, warmongering meglomaniac and his attempts to cut into long-prized civil liberties. In Britain's green and pleasant land, there can be heard a buzz - its thousands of hard-working, working-class, leftwing pioneers revolving at high speed in their graves.

Remember Pakistan saying they might not buy F-16s from the US because of earthquake costs? Well they went ahead with the buy anyway when the world's media wasn't looking. Who are those jets most likely to be used on? Well here's a hint...

Foreign Minister Khurshid Mahmood Kasuri has said that Pakistan is strictly opposed to any US attack on Iran and will stand by Tehran if this extreme step is taken by Washington.

Andrew Sullivan, writing for the Times of London, winds up the nutcase Right and says "Christmas is safe with the pagans," and I have to agree with a grin.