Friday, December 02, 2005

Friday Car Blogging - Just Drool...


I thought I would do a lighter post - and what better subject than the most incredible car ever?

Now - Jeremy Clarkson and I probably wouldn't get on well. His politics are decidedly right-wing but if you don't know who he is then he is one of the host's of the UK's most popular car show on TV and motor reviewer for the London Times. He is also the best motor writer on earth. His writing isn't literature - what it is though is pure boyish enthusiasm from a man in his middle age, sheer exuberance and purple prose and huge metaphors. It gives you the feeling you were in the passenger seat when he test drove the car. You really, really should read all of his review of the new Bugatti Veyron, the world's fastest production car, but here's a snippet.

At 200mph you can feel the front of the car getting light as it starts to lift. As a result you start to lose your steering, so you aren’t even able to steer round whatever it is you can’t see because of the vibrations. Make no mistake, 200mph is at the limit of what man can do right now. Which is why the new Bugatti Veyron is worthy of some industrial strength genuflection. Because it can do 252mph. And that’s just mad — 252mph means that in straight and level flight this car is as near as makes no difference as fast as a Hawker Hurricane.

You might point out at this juncture that the McLaren F1 could top 240mph, but at that speed it was pretty much out of control. And anyway it really isn’t in the same league as the Bugatti. In a drag race you could let the McLaren get to 120mph before setting off in the Veyron. And you’d still get to 200mph first. The Bugatti is way, way faster than anything else the roads have seen.

...From behind the wheel of a Veyron, France is the size of a small coconut. I cannot tell you how fast I crossed it the other day. Because you simply wouldn’t believe me. I also cannot tell you how good this car is. I just don’t have the vocabulary. I just end up stammering and dribbling and talking wide-eyed nonsense. And everyone thinks I’m on drugs.

...Other cars are small guesthouses on the front at Brighton and the Bugatti is the Burj Al Arab. It makes even the Enzo and the Porsche Carrera GT feel slow and pointless. It is a triumph for lunacy over common sense, a triumph for man over nature and a triumph for Volkswagen over absolutely every other car maker in the world.


See what I mean? It's a 16 cylinder, quad-turbocharged, 7993cc, 1001 bhp monster capable of 253 mph flat out and accelerating from 0 to 60 in a face-warping 2.5 seconds. I want one! Pity I can't even afford the matchbox model...

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