A White House spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, has revealed that Vice President Dick Cheney has been removed from office and is now being treated at Bethseda Naval Hospital, Maryland after he suffered complete breakdown of his sanity.
"Guantanamo's been operated, I think, in a very sane and sound fashion by the U.S. military. ... I think these people have been well treated, treated humanely and decently, occasionally there are allegations of mistreatment.
This comes as even the most hard-core rightwing pundits are no longer questioning whether tortures and murders have taken place at Gitmo and other US detention facilities, but rather whether they care. Meanwhile, new reports of torture surface after an Associated Press lawsuit forces the military to hand over 1,000 pages of documents relating to testimony made during kangar... tribunals at Guantanamo Bay.
The White House psychiatrist, Dr. D.S. Turbid, on retainer to staff ever since the President's "mission accomplished" delusional episode, confirmed the report. "Vice President Cheney may be beyond recovery. He is, in technical parlance, a fruitcake."
"In the short term, Mr. Cheney's duties will be covered by an animatronic double created by Disney Studios, "said Scott Mc...the anonymous source. "Don't worry, you won't notice the difference - you never did with Ronnie Reagan."