Monday, January 24, 2005

Go Ahead Punk...

You know what would really make my day? I mean besides getting offered a lucrative contract as a political columnist that would allow me to spend most of my day reading the news, playing guitar, and veggin' out on video games. If the Idiot King got dressed up in a blue dress and a blond wig, and started singing, "I give my self such very good advice, but I seldom ever follow it," from Disney's rendition of Alice in Wonderland.

I'm just sayin'.

Now, for most of us, the fact that only about ten percent of what comes out of the man's mouth is well thought out, relevant, and actually useful is a given, but this logic doesn't actually seem to sink in to Bush himself.

About a week before the inaugural address, GeeDub admitted that he sometimes says stupid things, and doesn't realize that being questionably the most powerful man on the planet, they may have consequences. It's kinda like the school bully holding a big stick, telling all the littler kids that he's going to beat them with it, and then afterwards telling one of the teachers that he didn't think the kids would take it so hard.

But that's our Georgie. So he finally figured he learned the lesson, but he didn't really. While all the pundits gushed grotesquely over the power and eloquence of his little speech, I rightfully panned it for the sound-bite ridden, attention deficit disorder pandering bit of fluff that it was.

Aside from all the over written quotables that littered the speech (making them easier to forget than all that stuff you just crammed for your Chemistry exam) there was one general gist that could be taken from it. ie,"We're gonna cram freedom down your throat whether you like it or not."

So let's all not go into shock to find out that the rest of the world was none too happy about it. Now I know that some of the countries that are a little miffed are kind of questionable. Like the class clown acting indignant when the teacher asks him if he put the tacks on her chair, but still.

Why would any country be upset if we said we're gonna set them free? Hmmm... I don't know, anyone check in on Iraq lately?

With Iraq being the most recent and prominent example in most people's minds of a "freed" nation courtesy the good ol' U.S., is there any question why some people might say, "despot, please?"

But we all know this by now, so I'm not talking to you, dear reader. I'm appealing directly to you, Mr. President. I know it's too late for you to learn social graces, nor can you go back to your ivy league schools and actually pay attention. I understand that you're much too old of a dog to learn a new trick like not hating people that aren't like you, or understanding that there are some people that don't pray to your specific rendition of God. It's probably too late to get you to stop acting like you are a born and bred Texan (which of course you aren't).

And I know we make it hard on you. We gripe because you hold too few press conferences. We harp on you for being too secretive. We almost act as though we want you to be more talkative. But please, sir, for the love of the people you claim to faithfully serve, please please please keep your damn mouth shut until you've at least hired someone intelligent to think for you.

Kay? Thanks.

Mr. M

ps. And big ups to C for the plug. Thanks man.

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